Question: Are there any other suitable alternatives to "but" other than "and"?

Submitted by Mark Bowen
in
General Questions and Comments

Question: Are there any other suitable alternatives to "but" other than "and"?

I had thought of using "or" as a way of introducing an alternative idea without putting down the original idea from someone else.

The two podcasts "How not to disagree" and "And not but meeting ground rule" were both excellent. I had not realised how often I use "but" both verbally and in emails.

I am actively working on removing "but" from my vocabulary and finding it difficult. Everytime I slip up the quote "but me no buts" comes to mind.

Submitted by Glenn Ross on Tuesday February 5th, 2013 10:10 am

When possible, consider a slightly different message that eliminates "but" by the use of separate sentences. For example:
Original sentence: "I like your idea but we don't have the budget for it."
Try: "I like your idea, it's innovative and I believe it'll make it easier for us to accomplish our goals. The downside that I see is that we don't have the budget for it right now. Any idea how we can fund it?"
Original sentence: "There's no doubt that process will save us money but it will have a negative impact on our customers."
Try: "I see where this will save us money. Have you considered how our customers will react?"

Submitted by Robert Lynch on Wednesday February 6th, 2013 9:10 am

GlennR's example of "I like your idea but we don't have the budget for it" doesn't work with "or" in place of "but".
"Or" implies that the second part is an alternative option, rather than the "but" implication of a disagreement or sticking point.
Do you have some examples of where you would change "but" to "or" that come up in your usual situation?
flexiblefine
Houston, Texas, USA
DiSC: 1476

Submitted by Glenn Ross on Wednesday February 6th, 2013 3:00 pm

I hope I understand the context here. I'm interpreting what you wrote to say that a direct (or a peer) has made a suggestion. You're asking if you can counter with an "or" that suggests a different approach.
I'm not a black belt in brainstorming but I'm not sure I would respond with a scenario where "Or" is used, unless it's a "version upgrade." For example, Someone proposes that horseless carriages be built. I might respond, "...Or better yet, horseless carriages with air conditioning and electric heaters."
Let's get back to your scenario. Bill says, "I suggest we do X." If I respond with an "Or" statement proposing something else, am I not shooting down his idea? Shouldn't we examine the idea  from all sides first? In a brainstorming scenario, shouldn't we list all ideas without using the word, "Or?"
Other than the example in my second paragraph (which would probably rarely happen) I avoid the word.
Give the idea the attention it deserves before moving on. Don't substitute another word, rather, change the way you respond.
Glenn

Submitted by Mark Bowen on Wednesday February 6th, 2013 4:30 pm

Flexiblefine - re-viewing possible scenarios, I am finding it hard to use "or" without it sounding as my colleague's idea is not as good as mine.
Thanks Glenn. I missed the important point of acknowledging my colleagues idea before putting mine forward. I like the idea of using "or" to build on an idea.I believe it would work well in brainstorming where you are trying to get to new ideas by leapfrogging over existing thoughts. Now I can see that in most cases the use of "and" or a separate sentence  is safer if I want to encourage more ideas
Mark...